


Dog Surprise

by Sapphire09



Series: Dog Surprise [1]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: AU, a hint of geraskier, but I'm not sure how much that counts, from tumblr, in which Yennefer has Dogs Surprise, not like romance is the focus here anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23034475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphire09/pseuds/Sapphire09
Summary: Yennefer stared down at the black, yipping thing at her feet that kept sniffing at her boots and wondered if this was really the best she can do for a child she so coveted.“…This is my reward?” She asked, her tone was just short of incredulous as she turned her head back to the countess she had done a favor for a fortnight ago. The countess nodded, eyes kept going back to the black thing pressing itself to Yennefer’s boots at every yip.When she had invoked the Law of Surprise, she really didn't think she would get adog, of all things.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: Dog Surprise [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008555
Comments: 26
Kudos: 553





	Dog Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> from tumblr: AU where instead of trying to cure her infertility Yennefer just goes around saving random people’s lives and invoking the law of surprise bcos she figures sooner or later it’ll net her a baby. she hasn’t got one yet but she has amassed about 2 dozen dogs so she’s doing pretty well for herself.

Yennefer stared down at the black, yipping thing at her feet that kept sniffing at her boots and wondered if this was really the best she can do for a child she so coveted.

“…This is my reward?” She asked, her tone was just short of incredulous as she turned her head back to the countess she had done a favor for a fortnight ago. The countess nodded, eyes kept going back to the black thing pressing itself to Yennefer’s boots at every yip.

“Yes. By your requirement, you asked me for what I see first thing, when I open the doors of my home. My beautiful Bella, my lovely pup, came bounding at me just as I arrived safely at my home, first thing I see when I opened my door," the countess sniffed. "And so, as promised, my child is now yours.“

The countess sniffed again, eyes glistening with unshed tears as she spoke of her goodbyes to the yipping, barking thing, though all Yennefer could think was how incredulous this whole thing was. A child she did get, but not the kind she had hoped for.

Really, how did those Witchers in history gained their boys through this way? In the books and scriptures she read, they just seemed to gain boys left and right by way of Law of Surprise. Which was why she thought she could try it, once. The countess had spoken of a daughter, unwanted by her own words, born of her illicit affair and implied she’d like the wee lass gone before her husband could find out she was not his. She had hoped for a chance for that child to be hers, though if Fate was not to be, then she hoped to gain something of equal value.

The pup barked again, circling around Yennefer’s feet once her former owner stood up. Yennefer wondered if she could give the pup back, but the it was obvious the pup would follow her now, always.

"Very well,” Yennefer said with dignity, looking back at the sobbing countess, “Bella, is it? I’ll take care of her. Come, Bella.”

As if the pup understood the command, she bounded up through the bright, loud portal Yennefer opened without hesitation.

She wondered if that was because the magic in the Law of Surprise, or if Bella was just too trusting (or foolish). Either way, she thought if the mutt was to be always with her now, it’s good that she wasn’t intimidated by portals or magic in general.

Besides, she’s cute, so she’s not too mad her first Law of Surprise failed to give her a child. She’ll just have to try again later. She’ll have another chance, surely.

* * *

After the fifth dog she gained through Law of Surprise, Yennefer was ready to just kick Fate in the fucking arse.

Don’t get her wrong, they all grew on her, loyal to boot too. But, she wanted a _child_. She has too many pups and dogs already. Five Law of Surprise she invoked, and yet dogs was all she got, all the time.

From Bella the Beautiful, the first and never left Yennefer’s side, her long black coat always stayed the cleanest and most beautiful in among all the dogs she gained. Then Raeva the Brave, a black-brown mutt that was so fierce and feral to strangers. Next come Snowdrop, the smallest wee little pup with the most puffed-up white coat and barely barked. Then come Coal and Ash, another black mutt with big maw and sharp teeth and a grey hound that can gnaw through a human arm.

If Fate was playing a joke on her, it’s not fucking funny. Cute and lovely they might be (though she can really do with less slobber on her face. At least she has the convenience of magic), she’d like something else. Like maybe an actual human child. She’ll even settle for humanoid child, really. There are lots of unwanted children in the world, surely there would be one fated for her.

Sixth, seventh Law or Surprise gave her some more dogs, more cute, fluffy things, but for all they have her heart, she still wanted a child.

After the eighth dog she gained, she finally decided to change course. Enough with the unpredictability of the Law of Surprises. She needed something more targeted, more inclined to the specifics of her wish.

She needed a djinn.

* * *

“You have a lot of dogs,” the white-haired Witcher observed. Yennefer was quite proud of her dogs, beautiful and regal, eyes watchful of the Witcher that entered their domain. She knew, all they need was her command and they will tear the Witcher to shreds. Her most aggresive dogs, Coal and Raeva, growled lowly and threateningly as the Witcher came closer, not intimidated in the slightest by the Witcher. But, that was all they did, because all of Yennefer's dogs are her good girls and boys. 

“Now, now. I don’t think we’re here to admire my pets, Witcher," Yennefer smirked, amused by the hint of alarm gracing the Witcher's handsome feature at Coal's bared teeth. "Tell me, what do you want?”

Then the Witcher told her about his ‘friend’, and a djinn. The djinn she had been looking for.

And really, she couldn’t be blamed for trying, despite the life-threatening aspect of it.

* * *

When she sauntered out of the collapsed building, a sated Witcher following behind her, she expected to be welcomed by her dogs, which she had portaled out and ordered to stay outside the manor until she can come for them. She knew it might get dangerous, and while the dogs were the gifts she didn’t ask for, she didn’t want harm to fall on them.

Instead, she saw the Witcher’s bard playing enthusiastically with her dogs. For all she cares for them, she wasn’t one for playing. At least, not like the bard was playing with them, with the running in circles and chasing each other and the rough-housing, tiring physical things Yennefer just couldn't be bothered to do. She usually just used her magic to amuse them. The bard and her dogs looked so. Damn. Happy. 

Huh. If the bard has a tail, she figured it would wag just as excitedly as her dogs' were.

Though, when the bard’s eyes found hers, the sparkle faded for a bit, going cold for a fraction if a second (and Yennefer couldn't help but imagine if the bard had a pair of dog-ears, they would droop sadly like Bella's, when she missed her countess) before the infuriating grin returned and he enthused on her dogs. Her dogs lapped up the praises, spoiled children that they are, and honestly she’s happy for the praise.

Then she glanced to her side, noticing the fond, barely-there smile and the softness in the harsh, cat-like eyes of the Witcher and she _wondered_.

She may still not understand what was the point of the Bard with the Witcher, but she though she’s already learning more and more. Besides, she doesn’t think she’ll get too far with the Witcher just yet. She might be fond of him, but she knows Witchers are sterile, and before all else, she wanted a child.

She doesn’t think that was something a Witcher can give her, no matter how deeply her fondness runs for him.

* * *

“Geralt has a child surprise, though,” the Bard said absently as he continued to brush through Bella’s fur, with Snowdrop waiting for his turn patiently by the Bard’s other side. This was, apparently, a thing that happens when Yennefer happens to encounter them on the road. The Bard will spend his time with her dogs while she spend her time with the Witcher.

“What.”

Jaskier, oblivious to Yennefer’s turmoil, continued as he started to braid little braids onto Bella’s long fur, which is something Bella apparently likes, considering the lazy wag of her tail.

“Yeah. Geralt keeps avoiding the topic, though. He invoked the Law of Surprise as a joke. He didn’t think he would get a child in return.”

“…What.”

Jaskier, still focusing on his little braids, just shrugged, completely missing the incredulous tone of the sorceress.

“He’s a bit socially inept. What else do you expect?”

“Who’s socially inept?” Geralt asked as he finally emerged from Yennefer’s tent, armors completely on now. However, Yennefer didn’t care that her Witcher is no longer in his previously delicious state of undress. No, she cared for one thing, and one thing only.

“You have a Child Surprise?”

Geralt’s eyebrows scrunched together. His cat-like eyes drifted towards the Bard, who wasn’t paying attention to anything other than her dogs, as he should. The Witcher’s expression went from confusion to annoyed, and that is not the answer Yennefer wanted.

“Jaskier told you? Damn Bard… It doesn’t matter. I have no plans to claim her.”

“It doesn’t - Are you _stupid_? The Law of Surprise is _absolute_ , Geralt. Your Child Surprise - ”

“Yen!” Geralt interjected, “It doesn’t matter. That doesn’t matter. The child has her parents still. I don’t want to talk about this.”

Yennefer couldn’t understand it. Geralt’s reluctance, when he had been given the gift fate had denied her so strongly. A child.

A human child.

A _daughter,_ fated to be _his_.

“All right,” Yennefer answered coolly. Her dogs, seemingly to have sensed her mood, have stood up and left the Bard, to the Bard’s displeasure. She could hear him whining that his time with the dogs have been cut short. She could also see the pained look on Geralt’s handsome, _infuriating_ face.

“Yen….”

“See you later, Geralt.”

* * *

“My three Dog Surprise for your one Child Surprise. Final offer.”

Geralt blinked, while the Bard’s eyes twinkled in excitement.

“Ooooohhhh, do it Geralt! You don’t want your child surprise anyway!”

“…Yen. You know that’s not how the Law of Surprise works.”

Yennefer snarled. “I fucking know. But you have to admit how unfair this whole thing is. I want that child, but eight Law of Surprise I invoked and I was nowhere _near_ to having a Child Surprise. While you, stupid, _idiotic_ , _socially inept Witcher_ invoked a Law of Surprise as a fucking _joke_ and you got yourself a Child Surprise! I love my dogs, truly, but fuck _you_ , Geralt of Rivia!”

“They’re really cute dogs though,” Jaskier added and Yennefer turned her snarl to him.

“I know! They’re lovely!”

“…Can we get Bella?”

“Fuck no, Bard! They’re not for sale!”

* * *

_Fucking djinn._

_Fucking destiny._

_Fucking selfish Witcher._

At least, her dogs will never betray her. Or take her choices away from her. ( _But, they love her because of Law of Surprise…. Fuck. Shit._ )

Still, they are fluffy and warm and they won’t leave her and the Law of Surprise works by Fate, so -

(Not a wish, not a djinn, but by Destiny, something as real as the Chaos around her, as real as the very air she breathed.)

“Can I borrow a dog?” Someone asked, and she could smell the familiar scent of chamomile and wildflowers from her side. She glanced towards the voice, not surprised to see the Bard, standing alone and for some reason, he almost looked _lost,_ even though they are still inside an inn where people are still around.

Yennefer gestured to her dogs, and one of them, Snowdrop, leapt onto the table and trotted over to Jaskier. The Bard took it as an invitation and sat himself down across where Yennefer sat with her half-dozen dogs. Snowdrop immediately hopped onto Jaskier’s lap once he sat down, settling himself comfortably there.

“Fuck Witchers,” Jaskier muttered out lowly, both hands working on Snowdrop’s fur, feeling his warmth on his lap and his hands. “Dogs are so much better.”

Yennefer huffed, amused.

“Fuck Witchers,” she agreed readily.

**Author's Note:**

> First written in my other tumblr blog for all witcher things, [whitewolfandsongbird](whitewolfandsongbird.tumblr.com). 
> 
> The name of Yennefer's last three dogs: Vicky, Bear, and Cat. Also, I imagine Snowdrop and Coal having some kind of dog-singing ability (or at least have a hidden passion for it) and Jaskier would sometimes sing, and they would just sing/howl along to everyone's amusement.


End file.
